


The Prophet Chuck: Lying Liar Who Lies (By Omission)

by samidha



Category: Supernatural, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Based on Old Interview, Crack, Episode Related, Episode: s04e18 The Monster at the End of This Book, Gen, Humor, old fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-04-16
Updated: 2009-04-16
Packaged: 2018-12-14 03:20:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11774439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/samidha/pseuds/samidha
Summary: Sam and Dean are finding out things about these books they're in and how there is a TV show and how they all regard it. Big brother Dean is feeling protective. He may, in fact, rip some lungs out.





	The Prophet Chuck: Lying Liar Who Lies (By Omission)

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a con appearance when Jared and some fans were discussing Sam's powers-hand as being "the hand of Ipecac." Dean was not amused.

"I'll rip his _lungs out_!"

Sam turned onto his other side to face Dean. "What?"

"He didn't tell--he didn't say they did a failed pilot for..." Dean scrubbed at his forehead with one hand. "Supernatural. The TV series."

"... The hell? I thought there was barely any following?"

"Yeah, well he pitched it. They got this... Sam, I think the guy they threw into the pilot ...to play you... God, this is so fucked up, Sammy. I think he's like, taller than you. He's a freaking giant. He's a mutant giant."

"Okay. You seem pretty upset about this."

"He's... he's at this con...."

"Con?"

"I don't know, convention or con job, take your pick."

"Oh. Like the anime ones."

"You are such a gigantic _geek_ , Sam."

"But that guy," Sam said, smiling a little, pointing at his laptop, "That guy's taller."

Dean blew out a breath.

"Breathing's good for you."

"They know about Ruby. They were going to put Ruby in the pilot. They were going to put Ruby... in the pilot... revealing your super secret weapon or some--"

" _What?_ "

"They're writing bad television about us, Sammy." Dean looked pained. "Really bad television."

Sam was still stuck on Chuck. Chuck being a lying liar who lied like a lying sack of lies.

_I didn't even put that in the books. I thought it'd make you look... unsympathetic._

Not too _unsympathetic_ to keep from cashing in on _only the biggest secret Sam Winchester had ever kept in his entire life_.

And Sam couldn't even kill Chuck.

The bitch of it was, Sam didn't even really want to. Chuck was a civilian. A money-grubbing civilian who _lied_.

Okay. Okay. But Sam had to keep his cool.

He also had to get his laptop away from Dean.

"But it... didn't go anywhere, right?"

"Well... People are really going apeshit for the guy who played Castiel. I think they may have killed the show because he got some recurring role on one of those police procedurals, you know, like Law and Order: The Second Coming."

"Does Castiel from the show wear the trenchcoat?"

"God, that thing stinks. He really needs to--"

Sam grinned. "You said it. I didn't."

"That's 'cause you're the strong, silent type, Sammy."

"Damn right."

"Anyway, yes, he wears the trenchcoat."

"And he does the frog voice. I bet you."

"Yes, he does the... You really like this, don't you?"

Sam grinned. "He's your angel. Also his people probably want to kill me. So I'll take my laughs where I can get them."

Dean sighed. "That's not going to happen. You're my brother. This actor guy, I don't know, though."

"What are you so pissed off at him for?"

"He's letting them call your... your powers thing... the hand of Ipecac!"

"Like...milk of magnesia? Ipecac?"

Dean sighed. "Yes. Like 'Oh crap, Junior just swallowed a bottle of baby aspirin, let's get the Ipecac.'"

"Huh," Sam said.

"Yeah. Huh. Dude, Sam? I dunno if you noticed this, but it's kinda hard enough dealing with the angels without having to think about these... fan... people... and their ideas about you?"

_Lying liar who lies. And can't be stopped._

Sam forced a smile onto his face. "Some-body's jea-lous," he singsonged, until Dean swatted him. Right then, Sam actually felt like Dean's _brother_ again. For a second. So his theory was right. He just had to keep Dean distracted from--from anything they'd say about Ruby. He could do that. Right?

"Yeah. You keep sayin' that, Sammy. That's not even getting into the necrophilia."

"The _what?_ "

"You're sleeping with her," Dean said tiredly, "And she's a demon, and these people are--they don't know how possession works--"

"So they think I'm a _necrophiliac?_ "

"I told you, I'm gonna rip his lungs out. One at a time. Real slow."

"Yeah, Dean, you do that and best case scenario we have another visit from _Zachariah_ and he rearranges our brains. And that's me being deliberately obtuse, 'cause I don't exactly want to think about being obliterated by an Archangel. Point is, he's got immunity."

"Fuck that guy. He's a liar," Dean growled. 

"You're just noticing."

"You think you couldn't take out an Archangel?"

"You think I could?"

"It'd be kinda cool," Dean admitted.

"I think that'd probably be a one way ticket to the apocalypse."

Dean sighed. "So we can't let him know that we know."

_He can't be stopped._

"No. We can't."

Dean stared at the laptop like he was trying to light it on fire. "I am gonna...."

"Give me that," Sam said, reaching one long arm out and knocked Dean's shoulder affectionately before he liberated his laptop from his brother's grasp.

"Hey, Dean?" he asked, settling the computer on the bed.

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad you'd kick ass for me when it really counts," Sam said, grin in place, one-two punch before Dean could call a stop to the chick flick moment.

Maybe Chuck wasn't so bad. He'd just proved that Sam's Dean might still be here after all.


End file.
